The Year Of...

For those of you that don't know (read: really only the 3 of you that visit my blog), my birthday is coming up in a mere 6 weeks. This year will mark a quarter of a century. Although I wouldn't change it and don't think "F-O" 24 (as Amy said to her 27th ;)) is necessarily the way that I want to end this year, I would very much like to start 25 refreshed and moving forward rather than just standing still. In this spirit, I have decided that I want this year to have a name... a mascot, if you will. So far, I'm partial to the year of the giraffe...

... or the year of the penguin.

I'm open to more suggestions, if anybody has any great ideas. ;)

Okay, now that's just wrong. You don't even know how long I tried to get that space in there two posts ago. Wrong, I say... just wrong. Blogger is messing with my head!

Bored

I'm sitting here on a Saturday night... eating a bowl of Cheerios... wondering why exactly it is that I feel like such a loser if I don't have plans for Friday and Saturday nights. Really... no less than a loser.

I'm also thinking about how much it bothers me that when I hit return twice to put a blank line between two paragraphs of my blog, that it now posts without the blank line... as if I only hit return once. I didn't hit it once. I hit it twice, dang it! And for good reason!

See... it happened here.

And here...

And here!

Relentless Pursuit

I am so amazed at God's love story for us...for me! I think lately if I have been particularly lonely I'm reminded of it even more. Reminded that I already have all the things that I'm wanting or missing. More and more over the past few years God has given me the gift of seeing different points in my life when He was right there... pursuing me... loving me. I wonder sometimes why He's allowed me to see these things, but I am so thankful that He has. I think maybe it's the times when I doubt myself the most that I'm reminded of something so intricately arranged by God just to get my attention... one more try to get me to turn to Him... to love Him... to want Him. He never gives up on us! What good news! I hope that part of eternity will be God showing me "our" story... and I'm certain I will fall in love with him many times over because of it.

The Gardner

It seems so inherent to who I am, but not to who He is. He sees it for what it is from the beginning, but for me it takes convincing. I don't even see it as a problem. God knows, though, that without it I'd be more like Jesus. So, at first, he just points it out. In my brokeness, I want to keep it. It's what I know. It's familiar. And it's usually selfish. Slowly, he stretches that part of me out. He pulls it out into the light so I can see it for what it is... something that I'm better off without.It is painful. It's not pleasant when God calls you on your sin... that you didn't recognize as sin in the first place.

When I think of pruning, I think of God cutting off branches that won't bring me life and maybe even some that are already dead. In my case, he has both taken things away and asked me to give them up... in that order. God, in his mercy, is patient yet firm. I want God's dreams for me, and to learn to trust Him completely. He's teaching me how to do that.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

Interpret This

I had a dream that I was hanging out with Matthew McConaughey. It was awesome!

Confessions of a Verbal Processor

I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday. As a verbal processor, I have to talk about EVERYTHING in order for ANYTHING to get processed. I can literally think a few consecutive thoughts on a subject and reach no clear conclusion but, after repeating those same exact thoughts aloud to someone else, come up with some very clear insight. It doesn't even take anyone else responding to me sometimes... I just come up with this stuff on my own.

Now this stuff that I spit out with no clear direction... just thoughts that I have on said current topic... I consider that the good stuff. That's the stuff that you have to flesh through to get to anything really great. So when I talk to other people about things, I want to hear all of that stuff. I want to hear what people process through before they reach the final thought. That being said, not everyone is a verbal processor and it's a bit selfish of me to expect people to go against the grain of their processing nature just so I can know everything they're thinking. So... I had a STIM moment. It's not right or wrong, it's just different. I swear I'm going to make bumper stickers. STIM for LIFE!

I wonder if this applies to other things in my life. Am I generally more concerned with the process than the outcome? I think maybe I am.

And now for what you've all been waiting for...

I would just like to say that I heard "git-r-dun" a grand total of 5 times on the 4th of July... entirely too many for a holiday, if you ask me! At least we're not related.

Left to right: Britney, my dad, and uncle Jr.

getting our stuff from the boat to shore

Sisters are the best!

the Pittman girls

Feliz cuatro de julio!

I don't like celebrating America. I am not patriotic. There's not an American flag flying at my house and I might venture so far as to say that there never will be. I think this sentiment existed before I went overseas, but a summer with people that aren't Americans just really pounds home that we aren't the best at everything... and that's ok! Yes... ok... the US has a lot of money and power and could kick some major arse if it needed to... woo freakin' hoo. Don't get me wrong. I'm not anti-US. I am very thankful that I live with many comforts and securities that others in this world cannot even imagine. I don't burn American flags. I'm just not into being prideful about America. Prideful about other things... yes... but maybe they'll be a topic for another day. : )

That being said... I love everything that comes with celebrating 4th of July. I'm from the coast, so this always means a trip out in the boat. Family gets together and hauls our bathing suit clad selves over to some stretch of sand and laughs about who knows what for the better part of a day. A few people usually rake for clams which will become part of dinner later and the rest of us drink soda and soak up some sun. After we're all too hungry or sunburnt (can you hear my accent coming out?) to stand it anymore, we load the boats back up and treck back to shore. Everyone takes turns with the 2 or 3 showers and we all get purtied (translation: prettied) up for dinner. We grill up some burgers and hot dogs, sometimes fix a clam bake, and sit around yapping about whatever has been going on since we saw each other last. The night ends with fireworks over the water, either back out on the boat or from the waterfront. I'm not sure why I love it so much, but I think it's because it always means getting together with extended family. I think it has to be my second favorite holiday... right behind Christmas. So, this afternoon after work, I'm packing up the dog and my sunscreen and headin'er to the eastard... where rebel flags, salt air, boats, and big trucks reign supreme. Carteret County is an experience all to itself. If you're lucky, I'll bring back some pictures for show-n-tell. : )

Does that make me a hypocrite? I'm not sure. But Happy Cookout and Fireworks Day to you, anyway!

Welcome to the blog world, Joanna!

I have a blog! Holla! (Is that right Emily?) I've been thinking about creating one for a while, but I just couldn't come up with a name. Names are important, you know. Props to Emily and Amy for helping me name my new creation. So, here I am! Come back often and feel free to comment!